Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker
Its true what they tell you. In laws are hell. When you’re from a South Asian family in laws can make or break you. They really rise to their best to sink to their worst and I don’t think mine could sink any lower. Specifically my fiancés sisters. I tried and tried and tried to think of appropriate names for them to use in this blog but the only ones I could find, the most appropriate ones that suit the both of them would be Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker. Yes the jerks from James and The Giant Peach.
Yep. These Bitches right here.
Now dont get me wrong. When my fiancé and I started talking these clowns were 11 and 14 years old. They were sweet and of course I just needed to be nice to save face. I wanted to get along with them and I tried my best to but with them there was always some underlying snake behaviour. Like you can never really trust whats going to happen or which person you were going to get. Right off the bat I noticed they like to play the Islam card to prove themselves right. I’m not from a muslim family, I’ve never covered my hair or have I ever wanted to. And i definitely dont think the way to get people to join a cult is to pressure them to drink the kool aid. But they do that to me alot. They’re 22 and 25 now and they still do that to me. Some days they’re fine and other days they’re out for my blood and anytime they speak to me its hard to figure out which person you’re going to get.
A Little bit of a back story… Aunt Sponge is a 25 year old nothing who never went to school, never got a drivers licsense and never bothered to do anything with herself beyond resolve to be married and have children. How pathetic is that? I’ve never met anyone who thought so little of themselves. Especially when you come from a family that would give you anything and never said no to you. She rolled her way through different guys and finally got married. To A convicted drug dealer. Nay. Drug Trafficker. He was arrested and he went to jail soon after they started dating and she waited for him to come out of jail and she married him. I remember 3 months before their wedding I told her “ are you sure this is what you want. Is this the best you think you can do?” and she said “ yes”. I said to her “ your families biggest fear is that one day he will fuck off somewhere because it is a known fact that drug offenders are usually repeat offenders, you will end up pregnant and alone.” I should’ve banked on my words I would’ve been a fucking billionaire. This tasteless bitch married this guy, got pregnant soon after, and while she was 4 months pregnant he was suspected of drug trafficking again because someone tipped the cops off, the cops came, took pregnant her and help her for 24 hours, searched the house, searched my fiancés families house and took all their sim cards and cell phones to search for him. I wish to God they found him cuz he’s such a fucking loser. They went to his mothers house to find out information and you know what that dumb bitch does??? She gives the cops their wedding picture and the cops use that on the postings asking if anyones ever seen him and hat numbers to call. Anyway since then he has been on the run, hes avoiding the cops instead of being honest and turning himself in. His son has since been born, they’re separated all the time and his mother treats her like shit. They contribute nothing to their grandson and fortunately for this dumb bitch of my fiancé’s, her mother is taking care of her and her baby because she married into a family that does’nt care about their own grandson to get their son to do the right thing by his wife and kid. But when you ask her “ why him?” its because “ He’s nice and he gives me money”. Too bad he doesn’t give you nor the child you have together any respect and you yourself or too much of a dumb cunt to have any for yourself. When discussing everything my fiancé and I have agreed she is definitely not someone who should be raising a child.
Aunt Spiker is definitely someone i get along with better, depending on whether THEY are having a good day or not. As long as I’ve known them they’ve had an attitude and I have no idea why. A 23 year old nursing student They can be very kind and fun and outgoing but then at other times they can be such a fucking bitch I wish someone on the street would make her put her teeth on the pavement and then curb stomp the back of her neck. Usually the one to use islam as a form of control where it suits her she often likes to tell me what I’m doing is wrong but is able to justify everything she does as right. Ex. I am wrong because I’d like to raise my children in both faiths (as if its any of her business), but if islam is os important to you why do you spend time with your gay best friend? According to Islam, it is unnatural and some sects believe it constitutes for the death penalty. But I dont see this bitch condemning her friend to hellfire, shes too busy focusing on me and why I’m wrong. If someone had to burn in hellfire, you better believe it should be her and i’d be first in line to add gas to that fire. Shes just so rude sometimes and loves to be the smartest person in the room. Besides my fiancé she’s the only other university graduate and honestly really is a smart girl, she just has a chip on her shoulder. She always acts like she knows best when she really doesnt. She’s just a fucking busy body that I wish would get taken down a notch. It makes my blood boil that she’s my fiancés favourite sister.
What these botched abortions have in common is that neither of them like to look stupid and neither of them like to be made a fool of. They absolutely cannot handle being wrong or being the butt of a joke. They are the epitome of “ being able to dish it out but never able to take it back”. Two true narcissists that I would pay good money to watch getting the shit kicked out of them. They’re both so dependant on their mother that the day she dies they’re both fucked and I wholeheartedly can’t wait to watch them both suffer.
Right now we’re planning our wedding and they constantly have something to say about everything thats not their choice and quite frankly none of their fucking business. They love to point out peoples whiteness as the inferior. As in “ Ew, I hate their make up thats some white people shit” knowing fully well that where I’m from there are different expectations for make up artists. If some people want their make up lighter, thats what the artist is going to show. Thats called basic marketing strategy. If they want to look like Ru Paul finalists then thats what they have to ASK for. Not shit on the artist for not giving them what they want when they haven’t even messaged the artist to request an ask if they can do what they want. They even did the same thing with the photographer. Giving me shit for the one we chose. He was chosen based on informed decisions and we knew him. These idiots keep saying: “I could take better pictures on my iphone” No you fucking can’t you daft bitch. No you fucking can’t. I know that their family is going to be providing me with wedding outfits for the wedding and that is the singular reason why sometimes when theyre rude I just repond kindly. I wont want my wedding outfits fucked up. I’m constantly praying that covid kills them and they wont have to come to my wedding. I honestly don’t know how to handle them and if I do end up moving to the UK I just want to have my own life far away from them.
I don’t want to be part of the Super South Asian fan club. I just want my own privacy and my own space. Sponge and Spiker die in the book. I hope a piece of burning space junk falls out of the sky and crushes these two scum sucking road whores flat. Preferably before my wedding day. That would truly be the hallmark of my happily ever after.
